Another Luvs Place On The Net (1847 bytes) (18422 bytes)

Don't be fooled by me
Don't be fooled by the mask I wear
For I wear a mask
I wear a thousand masks
Masks that I am afraid to take off, and none of them are me
Pretending is an act that is second nature to me
I give you this impression that I'm secure
That all is sunny with me
That confidence is my name and coolness is my game
That the water is calm and I'm in command
and that I need no one
But don't believe me, please
My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness
Leaving behind the one in a life time true love
My true love is you
But I hide this
I don't want anybody to know it
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed
But I need you, I need you to know me
It's the only thing that can liberate me
from myself, from my own self-built prison walls
It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself
That I am really worth something
But I don't tell you this
I don't dare. I'm afraid to
I'm afraid your knowing won't be followed by acceptance and love
I'm afraid you'll think less of me
That you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me
I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing
That I'm just no good, and that you'll see this and reject me
So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, and life becomes a front
So when I'm going through my routine, do not be fooled by what I'm saying
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm NOT saying
What I'd like to be able to say, but I can't say
I dislike hiding. Honestly
I'd rather be genuine and spontaneous, and me
I have opened up my heart to you, you have my heart , you have my love
I have been more open with you, then ever in my life to any one
But you've got to help me
You've got to hold out your hand
Even when that's the last thing I seem to want, or need
Only you can call me into aliveness
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging
Each time you try to understand because you really care
My heart begins to grow wings, very tiny wings, but wings
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble
You alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic and uncertainty
From my lonely prison
So do not pass me by. Please do not pass me by
It will not be easy for you
I fight against the very thing I cry out for
But I am told that love is stronger than walls, and in this lies my hope
My only hope Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands
But with gentle hands, for I am brittle and weak

I Love You
Forever and Always
You Shall Always Have My Heart
I miss you so much (1847 bytes)