I Tell Myself
By Jan

I tell myself its time to let it go
How does one let go of a love
That is buried so deeply inside
Cascading across the line
I tell myself.....He is gone
But the mind plays tricks
Saying he will be back
Each moment...Seconds
That goes by
I don't feel you anymore
Not to feel you anymore
Is where the emotion
Comes from....So longing
To hold onto just the way you
Loved me
I know it was all fake
But what I felt at
That moment is nothing short
Of making my soul touch
Beneath yours and capture
Something no one has ever
But at the same time I feel
The way you so destroyed
This soul....Not knowing how to
Repair it.
I wonder if you would feel good
Knowing that this heart can't love
Anymore...That the numbness is so
Deep....There is no reaching it..
Would that make you feel good?
Living in this shell of a woman
Is a empty space...Cobwebs
Cast their webs....Making each
One with strong string like
So nothing can come near
The heart and soul of her again
I cry for her now.
Not for you
Do you care?
Not letting a soul come close
Letting the pad lock stay on..
Wishing each nite I could find
Where I left the key
So I could open the happiness box
So empty Inside
I do my crying in the rain