Paul, How can you love someone you have never seen with a feeling so passionate that it makes your heart skip a beat at the sound of his voice? How can you feel his hands on you when he has never touched you? How can you feel his lips kiss yours when he has never whispered your name in the night? A love with such passion that life could never have known it, in your wildest dreams that it could ever be possible, would you turn away in fear that it could not be real for you if you had never known such a love? For this love I would take the chance of heartbreak for I have known a lifetime of heartbreak and heartbreak itself is of a temporary nature if we allow it to be. But to know just one moment in my life with such passion, such feeling, such want, such need I would give freely of myself without regret, without sorrow without remorse to you, your wants...your needs...your love... your life...To deny such a love would be the most fatal of mistakes, to deny myself your love would be an injustice within itself to the name of love... To have love based on a spiritual not physical beginning could only result in the most special of loves...The love you wait a lifetime for, a love so strong that neither heaven nor earth could stop it from being...
A love for you and I...A love for eternity...
So, Paul, when you close your eyes at night, and your heart is thumping in your chest, completely swelled with love in your heart, it doesn't matter that you've never touched my skin Paul, you've touched my heart, you've heard my cry, I have shed tears with you, and just because it wasn't your hand that wiped them away doesn't mean you wasn't there. Watch City of Angels, where she is in the room and Nicholas Cage (Seth) is behind her, and she says "I know you are here Seth." That's all you have to say, and believe...Then close your eyes. When you listen to your heart, beat beat, just think of it this way, you say I am a part of you so one beat is yours and if you wasn't there, the other beat wouldn't be either. Paul, love is in the heart, not in the eyes. Love begins as friendship and blossoms from there. You can't deny love or will it go away. It just shows up on your doorstep one day and changes your life forever. I sincerely hope that...the two of us one day will be together. Finally holding that love in our arms, feeling our breath upon each others skin, seeing each other's reflection in our eyes. That will be one of the best feelings in the world. Not only will we be holding the person we love, we will be holding our hearts. It's indescribable and irreplacable. Even with heartbreak or pain...That moment is worth the risk.

I myself believe love is blind. It's not always the way you stand before each other gazing into each others eyes, touching each others fingertips, nor watching their everyday movements. It's the way they touch your heart and soul. The way they make you feel inside. That's what true love is all about Paul and that is what we have found with one another.
I Love You, Paul, with all my heart and I always will...
~Jan~